Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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