Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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