He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i black out too much to be "responsible"
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
