Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
