I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Your penis caused this!
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