and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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