so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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