why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
