I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
