He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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