Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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