i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
We need to feng shui this bitch.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
