So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
