The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
