there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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