I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
