Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
