I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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