Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
