Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize