let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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