youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
