so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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