Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
