i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Randomize
