So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So vagazzling was a success
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
