I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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