We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
