I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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