I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
