worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
