she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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