Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
