To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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