marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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