The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
