It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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