You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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