True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
