I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
