I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
