i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
