So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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