id be glad to
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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