no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
