Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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