no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
