And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
