She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Operation Purity has been aborted
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
