Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
