i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
