All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
