Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
