I wannas sexs uuuuu
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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