butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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