Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
