C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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