It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
