Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize