I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
