Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
