I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
