why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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